trinahfbay:

Rudy Francisco - 17

“If you were to find an old calendar, strap it to a hospital bed
Tie it down by its week-ends, and then C-section the belly of 1999
You’d find the 17 year old version of me
Back when I was a tsunami of awkward moments
Splashing against the shoreline called __________.
A young lady, who introduced my jaw to the floor 
Whenever she floated into our first period classroom
This girl, she was a dandelion seed straddling a wish, a dream
I never thought would turn flesh and green, but wire hangers like me
We don’t become captain of the football team because 
The only thing that we are good at is
Stopping ourselves from saying ‘I like you’ to a girl that
Holds the remote control to our smiles
So we are just blurry silhouettes
Against the backdrop of everything popular
Often wearing our skin like a costume of someone we didn’t feel
Comfortable pretending to be anyway
We swallow earthquakes, and then shrivel at the smell of perfume
We got bashful, we got tongue tied
And we got nervous in high definition
So the question is,
If a boy falls for a girl that’s out of his league
And there’s no one is around to hear him
Does he make a sound?
The answer…the answer is ‘hell’ and the first two letters of ‘nothing’
When I was a senior in high school, I was a pocket full of chalk dust
I was elevator music on a CD that stuttered like a 
Volkswagen with a really bad transmission
At this age, I was a ballot box
Stuffed full of everyone’s opinions except for my own
My swagger was like watching a Walkman trying to swallow a DVD
At this age, my mouth was a door with hinges covered in rust
And I walked as if I was concerned with how the ground would feel about my footsteps
And if I could just find a way to write a letter to that boy 
Who was in an old sweater with itchy sleeves that I will someday grow out of
I would say, I would say there will be days when you feel like a
Peacock with no feathers
Like you are flightless, and undeserving of attention
But listen,
You have to stop getting out of bed like an oil spill
You’re not a flat tire at 2 am
So stop acting like an accident
You’re not an accident, you’re not a fucking accident Rudy!
You’re an apple on a pine tree in a room full of lemons
And you come from a long line,
And you come from a long line of Swiss army pocket knives
Men who are small, sharp, and dangerous when not handled carefully
Some days I wish that my arms were 12 years long so I could reach all the way back there
And grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say 
Listen… you are the main character in a movie that I watch 
Every time I see the inside of my eyelids
I told myself a million times that I wouldn’t spoil the ending
But I will tell you this, your story starts off really slow…
But it does get better, and you don’t have to believe me
Someday you’ll see for yourself
And when you see _________ at the senior prom
Ignore the washing machine in your stomach
Tell her she looks beautiful tonight
Extend your arm like a drawbridge to a castle
That no one has visited in years, and say
‘Will you dance with me?’”